Married Life

I was in the shower just now (TMI?) when I realized I have been married now for over 4 months. Wow, how the time flies. One minute I am in a tux watching Sarah walk down the aisle... then next I am in Maui...and now it's been over 120 days.

All my life I have been preparing for this horrible transition to married life. As a kid, I learned about marriage by watched the Honeymooners, I love Lucy, Married with Children, and the Cosby Show.

Like any relationship, we each have our roles. These roles can change, and they do constantly.

I have settled into my duties that comes with being a roommate, or in my case, married. Just like a roommate situation, you each have to do certain things to maintain the status quo. We each share many of the daily tasks like dishes and feeding the cats. Some tasks one of us hates, so the other person takes it upon themselves to do that task all the time. We each have started to find our own unique groove.

My "groove" involves certain tasks that I don't mind doing. I commonly find myself doing any fixing of things, moving heavy objects, trash, kitty litter, toilet cleaning, and for some reason, vacuuming. Sarah tends to do the laundry more often than me, cleans the kitchen, and the bathroom counters and mirrors. She also keeps things less cluttered than me. I like large piles of crap scattered throughout the house. She prefers things in their places. I think the piles are their places!

We haven't really talked about all of these jobs we perform independently. When one of us does not perform their usual duties, then the other just takes up the slack. Normally this is not done with much fuss, but we do have our days where I test Sarah's patience with a large pile of clothes on the floor or some other atrocity.

Either way, the things that need to be done get done, by one of us. Sometimes it's as simple as Sarah giving me a subtle hint like, "There is a lot of dirty laundry" or "The light bulb in the bathroom burned out."

Ahhhh....marriage.

The Visitors

I am sitting in the kitchen waiting for my a new batch of pale ale to cool down for fermentation.

It has been a busy week here in the Johnson house. I have been working the oil refinery job every day, but we also have had some guests. A friend, Adil, flew out to visit from Kansas. He was a roommate of mine. He is going to medical school in the Caribbean this January. He wanted to see California, since he never had. It was funny because he is not used to having mountains around, so he was taking pictures of them off in the distance. We went to the beach a couple of times and ate fresh crab, halibut, and other fish. He found a sand dollar. We watched surfers at Pismo Beach. I showed him "real" California things like beaches with "Shark Attack" signs and building that you could die in during an earthquake. See pictures below:

Two days ago, Adil flew back to Kansas as my Dad was driving here from Phoenix. So now my Dad is here. Yesterday we had a classic Thanksgiving dinner that Sarah made. It was great! Today, we went to Solvang, a Danish village near here. I'll put up pictures soon.

Fondue, FON"DON'T"!

I may have committed treason, heresy, and even blasphemy. But, most of all I have done a bad thing. I have committed a sacrilege to the world of fondue cooking. The basic meaning of sacrilege is "An act of disrespect or impiety toward something regarded as sacred."

Maybe you make fondue with wonderfully fresh shredded Gruyere and Emmental cheeses. Maybe you add a nice wine, after taking a sip from the bottle first. Or, maybe you rub a freshly sliced clove of garlic in the bottom of the pan before you add the wine and cheese. Maybe you like a little "Bam" to it and add some Kirsch brandy.

If this is your idea of fondue, then you should hate me. Before you send an angry mob, I too have made the aforementioned fresh ingredients to compose a great fondue.

However I was weak today. I went to the store to buy the cheeses for fondue. They had Gruyere, but no Emmental. Crap, I thought, now what? Then, I saw it, the "BOX."



This box contained all the ingredients for Swiss fondue. It had the cheeses, starch ,wine, and brandy. I thought, "No way, it can't be good, it can't." It said in the lower right hand corner of the box, "Product of Switzerland"...sold. I threw it into the shopping cart and grabbed some bread to go with it.

I got home and threw it together in my recently acquired electric pot. There is probably some fondue rule also about using only flame heaters.




I cooked it up and it was not much different from the norm. In fact, when the daughter of the blog Twelve Two Two Fondue ate my "squeezed out of package" fondue, she said it was an 8 out of 10! In fact, the only real complaint she had was the brandy in it.

I hope my Father-in-Law does not read this...

Tom's Eclectic Ribs

I have never cooked good spare ribs, until today. My plan: Smoke the ribs till they are yummy!

What actually happened was not so simple...

It all started out well. I patted a little rice vinegar on the ribs to help make the meat receptive to the rub. I rubbed the ribs with salt, pepper, garlic powder, thyme, and who knows what else I threw in there. Finally, I brushed on a light coat of BBQ sauce.

I started up the electric smoker and added the wood chunks. I also turned on the BBQ grill.

First thing, I wanted to sear the ribs on the hot BBQ. I threw them on the grill and got them browning up nicely, when the gas ran out! Crap! Well, they went in the smoker a few minutes early .


The smoker was up to temperature, so I put the ribs in and planned on about 3-4 hours of waiting and chillin'. I went into the house loaded the dishwasher and started it up. I went about my business around the house.

I notice it was quiet in the house about 20 minutes later. I checked the dishwasher. No power to it. I checked the circuit breaker and noticed it had tripped. I reset it then the whooshing sounds of the dishwasher started up again. Ten minutes later, again, the dishwasher was silent. I reset it again and checked the smoker. It was cool, not hot like it should be. Wait a second, it can't be, the smoker and the dishwasher are on the same circuit? Sure enough, the smoker had only smoked hot for about 20 minutes of an hour. The meat needed to be cooked still, so I turned on the oven inside to 300 degrees and when it was heated, I covered the ribs in BBQ sauce and put them in for another hour.

I used 3 "ovens" to cook this one rack of ribs, but let me tell you...mmmmm they were so good that even Sarah, from Texas, thought they were delicious.

The Gifts That Keep on Giving

Everyday we are using the wedding gifts we got from our generous family and friends. I use a 12 inch Circulon deep skillet several times a week. I've made Bombay Curry, pork dumplings, and many other dishes in it.

We use a fancy stainless steel coffee maker every morning. The coffee stays hot for hours after you make it, with no heating coil. When I say hours, I mean four or five.

We use our Noritake dinnerware set everyday.

We got so many gifts, it was unbelievable! I have never used so many nice things in the kitchen. We constantly use so many of these gifts that I am reminded of how much my friends, family, new-family, and my new companion for life, Sarah, mean to me. Thanks.

I have one full week of solid work under my belt. Yep, feeling pretty good.

Some of my accomplishments this week:

1) I found out I look good in coveralls and a hardhat

2) I ate homemade lunches for 5 days in a row

3) I only played solitaire for 10 minutes one day

4) I managed to screw up everything I touched, but I'm still employed

...and finally, I found out how to reuse rubber gloves 5 times before throwing them out (My boss is very frugal)

It was an interesting week. The company's motto is "Working For A Profit." Mine too

Orientation Day

I was stood up!!!...by a company...who wants me to work for them...

I recently took a job with an oil company.

Today was Orientation Day!

I was given an address to a building in the middle of some oil fields.

I pulled up to a yellow gate that appeared locked with the address I was given on it. No sign of life. I sat for a minute to contemplate my options. Was the gate actually unlocked? Should I check? Since I once worked for a pig farm, I knew that many times the gates were to be opened and closed with each vehicle, giving the appearance of it being locked and keep in livestock. I got out and checked the gate. It only appeared to be locked.

So, I drove out into the oil field, closing the gate behind me. I came upon a work truck behind a horse shaped oil pump. Here I met a pump mechanic named Bitter Bob. He pointed to a building behind a storage tank were I should go.

I drove up the muddy road and checked it out. It was locked and again...no sign of life. I checked my watch, 8:55...9:00...9:10...damn, no cell reception. I went to talk to Bitter Bob. He told me that nothing here is done on time. I asked him how he liked working for the company and he said, "They are chicken shit!" He went on to tell my how he was looking for better job and the Mexicans were stealing his tools and lazy. Then he told me that he wasn't going to hurry to fix this pump because everyone else was lazy.

I took off to the main office. They told me they forgot me.

To make a long story short, I went to brunch at Subway and returned for orientation.

A witty British man in a Jaguar met me at the site for orientation. He said, "We're going to do this bloody fast because I have already wasted too much of your time." That he did.

Hydrogen Sulfide gas will kill you. The Coast Guard is now responsible for inland oil spills. We took a walk through the fields and he showed me how the process of oil and gas collection worked.

The last thing the trainer told me was, CYA or Cover Your Ass.

wish me luck

Beach Bum Tom is Dead!

Beach Bum Tom (me) is dead!

My days of bumming on the beach are over. Today is my last day of "freedom." I got a job. Coming out of retirement is harder than I thought. Now when people ask me what time I am available, I will actually have certain times!

I always loved the spin people put on being jobless. It's embarrassing. My neighbor asks me if I got a job yet. My family, friends, wife, Mother in law, even my cats ask me if I found anything yet.

Some people say, "I'm between jobs" or "I'm self-employed." I prefer the following:

- I am Experimenting with real-time time travel
- Social Network Engineer
- I am waiting for the Cable Guy
- Pro-Bono Video Game Tester
- Cat Whisperer

The phone rang this morning to tell me they accepted my offer and want me to start tomorrow.

I have company orientation tomorrow, then I start work at the plant on Wed. I will be doing laboratory testing and quality control at an oil refinery.

I would go to the beach today, but it is cold and overcast. Maybe I'll go anyways...my last day to beach bum!

Pumpkin Carver...Pros

Sarah and I went to a local pumpkin farm and picked us out the perfect canvas to carve up. We got out the knives and spoons and went to work...

We got candy, a giant spider to drop on the kids, and some nice jack-o-lanterns.

West Texas meets Napa Valley

I went for a job interview yesterday. It was for a oil refinery chemist position.

The refinery was small by comparison of the large refineries I have seen in the San Francisco area. I was told that this plant deals with mostly heavy oils, used for asphalt and other road uses. The oil mined from this local basin, Santa Maria Valley, is 60% heavy oils in each barrel. So it makes sense that they work with what is most available. The other 40% goes to another refinery for further refining for fuels, lubricants, etc.

I arrived early to an empty office building adjacent to the plant. Soon a man in a hard hat told me someone would be with me shortly.


I soon met the Boss, the current chemist who was now also overseeing the production side of things and has been spread too thin, cue Me. I talked with the Boss for a while. He like my resume and that I showed up early for the interview. He said a guy he interviewed 2 days before was 30 minutes late and had no practical lab experience.


I met the Boss's boss, the plant manager. He was soft spoken and had been there 30 years. I took a look at the primitive but very clean lab. The Boss showed me some of his new instruments that only lab rats like us would find interesting.


He said he wanted me to work there, and then called the HR person and told them to sign me up. I was given directions to the main office and off I went to fill out some paper work.


"Main Office" was an overstatement to me. I drove down a bumpy dirt road through wine vineyards, two cattle guards with cattle present, and into an oil field. It was like West Texas meets Napa Valley. There were oil pumps running and in the middle was a cluster of mobile homes...the Main Offices. I guess the oil business is a more "temporary" or mobile business...or the owner just doesn't need no fancy buildings.


I went in to the office and met the HR person, with whom I had met before. I met her before at a career show, which is how I found out about the job. At the job fair, she didn't look me in the eye or care if I existed at all. I gave her my resume, signed a "I will give you urine for drug test" form and left. She is the worst HR person I have ever met. She doesn't seem to want to be wherever she is. If this is the face of this company, than it's not pretty.

Anyways, I talk to her and she gives me two pieces of paper to fill out. No tax forms or anything else, just a math test and English test. The math was very basic, add, subtract, multiply, and divide. The English was funny. It was all multiple choice. I had to answer simple questions like "Sally do you have the time?" with choices like (a) No, I don't have a dog (b) Yes, it is 2008 or (c) Yes, it is 6:30.

Surprisingly, I did miss some of the questions. I missed 3 or 4 out of 30 of the English questions! It reminds me of the questions new immigrants have to learn that no American knows.

I guess I passed but miss HR didn't tell me. However, She did tell me about the company, "We are an oil company and we, uhmm, we sell oil and stuff. The refinery you will work at does some oil and then uhh sells oil I think." WOW! Now I can tell my friends and family that all I know about this fine company! Oh boy, I hope she is not a sign of the type of people this company hires.

Wish me luck. Miss HR is supposed to call me and tell me when I start. She probably just threw my file in the trash and I'll never hear from them again.

Hey, it's a job.

HomeBrew # 4

Some people have jobs. I am not one of these. So why not brew up some beer?

This is batch number 4 for me in beer making. I have learned a lot about some of the things I can do to improve it, and to ruin it.

Previously, I have been making beer from a Mr. Beer kit. I buy the kit with all the parts I need and the beer is "ok" to drink. I did like some of it, especially when I added a little hops to my last batch.

After some reading and a beer making supply store near me called Doc's Cellar , I now am on the road to great beer, or at least good drinkable stuff. The new way I am trying, is the best simple way to brew beer. it is called extract brewing. The old method took only about an hour from start to the fermentor. this new (to me) method requires at least twice that or two hours in production. It should be worth it. Here is what I did...

Check back later for the final results or tasting notes.

Amber Ale: This is a recipe from the now defunct Central Coast Brewery. It has a blend of spicy and floral hop character with a clean finish.

I steeped grains in hot water for 30 minutes (just like tea). These grains impart color and flavor. I took the lid off just for the picture

After removing the grain sack, I added a thick syrup (from the plastic container below), malt extract, to the water. I brought the solution, called wort, to a boil.

Now I added hops, a bittering spice, to the wort and boiled it for 60 minutes. I added a couple of other types of hops at the end of the boil. These are called aroma hops, the type we first smell when we open a beer.

After the boil, I put the pot into an ice bath to cool it for fermentation.

Below is the fermentor container for the beer. On top, a one-way air-lock allows CO2 gas out as it is produced by the yeast.

Below, the fermentor is full and ready for me to add the yeast.

Finally, I take the specific gravity of the wort. This helps me determine when the fermentation is complete and gives an idea of the percent alcohol by volume

Finally, I put the yeast in and put it in a dark cool place for about a week.

After that, I make sure that fermentation is done, then transfer to another container for secondary fermentation. After another week, I'll then bottle the beer, wait a few weeks, then drink it.

Pismo Beach

Sarah and I went to Pismo Beach for the annual clam festival. I was disappointed with the lack of clam food varieties available. I saw clam chowder and steamed clams...that's it!

I went to see (or eat) interesting clam dishes and neat ways to cook them. One lousy clam chowder stand at the BIG clam festival???

Needless to say, I had a foot long hot-link style hot dog with sour-kraut instead of any clams. No clams sprinkled on top, just some mustard to go with it. So I decided to make it an October-Fest celebration instead. I ate the hotlink, then had a beer. I think it was Sierra Nevada's Harvest Ale. It was strong and hoppy, like I like my women.

Sarah and I walked the beach and had some fun swinging a swing set. We have a couple of beaches we like to go to and swing at the beach. It's therapeutic if not just fun! I like to see how far I can jump off the swing. I get sand everywhere!

Montaña de Oro State Park

I recently took a day hike around Montaña de Oro State Park, south of Morro Bay. It is a beautiful stretch of Pacific coastline with countless trails to the ocean and other places. I spent about 2 hours hiking around. I saw pelicans feeding on a school of fish and a local surf spot that is a long hike, but worth it. What a great day out. Below are some pictures of my trek.



Morro Rock and Bay

My Jeep with some of the cliffs I hiked to in the distance.
A cool rock shaped by the waves.
This "tunnel" was the trail to the surf spot.
The beach and reef area used for surfing.An interesting shore bird that looks for crabs and other things along the beaches.

High Def and DVR

I've gone high def. I was against this whole HD movement. Pay more for the same crap??? I think not! Well, then they threw in the DVR thingy...and now there is no return!

Well, now I pay more and I like it...the TV will never be the same. Sarah records the programs she likes; I record mine.

Oh man, I watch too much tv. Maybe I should get a job...

Cold Wave

The 3 day heat wave is over and now we have been wearing sweatshirts. Tonight is the first frost warning of the year. Life here is getting even harder now. Today we got too cold to stay at the beach and retreated to a resaurant for shelter from the wind.

No Air

We are having a 3 day heat wave here in Nipomo, CA. It will be a scorching 86 degrees today! We could die because we don't have air conditioning. No one has air conditioning here. If we were a bit closer to the ocean, we would get a breeze, but we are inland about 9 miles. There are some hills between us and the pacific, so it's a bit warmer here than along the coast.

The locals tell me that it doesn't get hot here often. It is normally from 50 to 70 degrees here. I think its a good time to go to the beach!

Beer, Beach Bums, and a Garden

I have been anticipating my latest batch of homebrew beer for about a month now. I finally had my first taste. Yummy, if you like the beer a bit bitter or hoppy. This was a Pale Ale that I added a little extra hopps to. I think my obsession for making beer is almost as bad as my obsession to drink it.

I took Sarah to school today. I went fishing in San Luis bay near Pismo Beach. I caught nothing. I picked Sarah up. On the ride home, Sarah said, "Well you are an official beach bum now, since you fished while I went to school." Being married is hard!

For dinner tonight we had a pasta dish with fresh cherry tomatoes from our garden and basil from the neighbor's garden.

Since we have a back yard now, we also have some fresh herbs. We have two giant rosemary plants. Pictured below is the tomato plant and the rosemary bush behind it.

Our back patio...

Polyclonal Antibodies and Monty Python

I have been applying for jobs for the last month or more. I have submitted at least 40 applications to various companies and headhunters in the area. So, I was surprised when I got a call about a job. The place was Santa Cruz Biotech. I didn't remember applying there, but I took her word. The person on the other line wanted me to come for an interview. The next day, I dropped Sarah at school and went to the interview.

I drove through a industrial complex and found the building. An orange cat greeted me on my way in. I filled out some paperwork and waited. The interview was very casual and went well. I asked what the job was and she replied, "Purification and analysis of polyclonal antibodies...conjugation of peptides...siRNAs for mouse, goat, and human..." Uhmm, ok so why was I here again? I have no experience with biochemistry. The interviewer said that I would be trained and I did not need more experience than I already had. Good, since I find it hard to come by. I asked for a tour of the lab. It looked nicely familiar and the dress code was very casual, like the interview.

On the related subject, job hunting, I took the CBEST exam today. It is the nationwide exam for teaching. With a degree and the exam passed, I can substitute teach. To become a full-fledged teacher, I would have to spend one year in school to become California credentialed. I wanted the option of teaching so I would have another source of income, at least until a permanent job opens up.

Anyways, the point is that I took the 4 hour test today. It was not difficult. I would say freshman or sophomore in high school level. The test had three types of tests: Reading/Comprehension, Math, and essay questions.

One of the questions was about a monologue from Monty Python. Have you ever seen the Cheese Shop skit on You tube? [click on the video below to watch it (5 minutes long)]



Seriously, the question showed about 10 lines from it, then asked what I thought the customer would do after all this back and forth talk. The next question asked what I thought the purpose of this skit was. These were multiple choice questions, so no thought was actually needed, but it sure made me smile.

The exam took me three and a half hours and I believe I did well. I wont know for four weeks.

If I pass and become a substitute teacher, the first thing I will do is show the Cheese Shop skit and say this is all you need to learn today and then walk out.

My Precious

If you didn't know, I lost my wedding ring on the honeymoon.

I searched and searched for the same ring, but to no avail. I originally got my ring at Shane Company in Roseville, CA. I went back to Shane Co. and they did not have one. When I asked if they could order me one, they said they didn't know where or how to. I left frustrated. A couple days later, after searching for a similar ring, I had to vent my frustrations to someone. I went to the Shane Co. web site and submitted a complaint about the way they keep track of inventory regarding reordering a ring they sold.

Later that day, I received a phone call from Shane Co. They wanted to know what happened and how they can fix it. So I told them I needed a ring I lost and they said they would figure it out. They did. The manager of the Roseville store called me and said he is having the ring made for me. That's it. I have my ring again.

Sarah's B-day continued

Here are pictures of Sarah's birthday celebration: