Wife Blames Husband for Bad Chili

I love chili! I really do. I like beans or no beans. I like chunks of beef or ground up chuck. I like it mild or spicy. It must have cornbread to go with it or it is incomplete.

I think about the ways I can add flavors that are layered and make you want to lick the bowl when you're done.

I demand good chili and there can be nothing less, just like making beer.

The only problem is that I suck at making it. No, really. It's not as bad as my Chinese food is, but it lacks the basic idea of chili, whatever that is. I have even read Chili Cooking for Dummies and I got more stupid.

Right now, the smell of chili has engulfed my home. The crock-pot is filled to the brim with my latest secret recipe. I spent almost an hour planning it. I know that's more than most men talk to their wife in a day, but not as much time as I play Wii.

Now, the back story here is about the last time I made chili.

You see, I am a victim of spousal abuse. I trust my wonderful wife who cooks great food to tell me the basics of many things in the cooking realm. Since her father is a famous chili chef, I figured I should ask her the chili basics.

I was WRONG!

She, not me, suggested a lot of red wine in it. OK, stop. Don't ever do that. It is not a good idea to add a lot of wine and especially not half a bottle!

I put half of a bottle of red wine in the chili. It went very wrong at this point.

There was some awesome chunks of beef and no beans. I set out to make the greatest Texas style chili in California. I failed to make even edible food. It was almost purple in color. Don't eat purple chili!

I did learn something from this experience...It was all my fault. Well, that's what she told me. When I told her that I added half a bottle of wine because she told me to, she said "That's way too much even for spaghetti sauce." Oh, now she knows! Great!

Now back to today...

I have a great tasting chili. I stuck to the basics. It tastes good now, but tomorrow for lunch it will be heaven on earth.

On a side note:

I may be sleeping on the couch tonight, if not for this article, then for the chili beans.

Good night from warm California.