What's the Difference?

I received some great Christmas gifts this year. I got some great stuff I wanted, such as an IPOD shuffle and a new camera (my last camera was stolen from baggage on airline). I received the odd stuff: tie-down straps for things in my truck, liquor chocolates, bubble bath, and a Merrill Lynch key-chain clock.

I also was given a great book called "What's the Difference?" It explains all those little nagging questions we have about the subtle differences between things. On the cover it states, "How to tell things apart that are confusingly close."

I needed this a long time ago! I learning when I was younger that the prefix in means not. So when I heard my parents talking, "Tom's grades are inadequate" then I would go incognito. If someone, such as my algebra teacher, said "You are incorrect" I would believe that she was saying I was wrong. Little did I know my universe was about to fall apart.

I witnessed a speech were the person stated that another person was invaluable to some project. I thought, "Well that's a rude thing to say." I was twenty-eight years old! What the heck do you mean that invaluable is the same a valuable? I thought myself to be fairly literate and educated to know this, but obviously I had wasted my youth learning the meaning of words. My parents were teachers for God's sake! What other words did I not know the real meaning to?

How about flammable? Can you say inflammable? A bunch a malarkey! If you think I am confused you don't even know the half of it. INCONCIEVABLE!

Sorry, let's get back to the book, "What's the Difference?" I found that I did know some of it, but not as much as I thought. Can you tell me the difference between a hobo, a bum, and a tramp? Right. How about Seltzer, club soda, and tonic water? No?

I don't like the bitter taste of tonic water, so I remember it well. I also did an analytic chemical analysis of tonic water to find the unknown concentration of quinine in it. I found in my research that it was the quinine that gave it the bitter taste. I know a little about these but the book clarifies it nicely. The book adds that the bark extract, quinine, is medicinal and was originally added to help prevent malaria. The other two drinks are just water infused with CO2, but club soda also has some NaHCO3 (baking soda) in it as well.

Finally, you say then what is the difference between me and a barking moonbat? Well, if you don't know then...