Restrooms...The Best of

Ahhh, such a nice quiet place. No one around to disturb me. I unfold the newspaper and see who died in Iraq today. The lighting a nice white light, but not too bright. The tile and most of the fixtures are clean. The lock on the door to this stall works. The toilet paper is 2-ply and the planets have all aligned for me.

You see, I like to seek out nice, quiet, comfortable restrooms in the places I go. I go out of my way to go to the better restrooms. Most places you go, you cannot have peace and quiet. Sometimes you pay 50 cents to use a public toilet which is a hole in the ground. Sometimes you find a small oasis of glimmering porcelain and tile for nothing. Whether I am at work, the middle of a forest, or a school, I seek a certain type of comfortable restroom.

First I must define my type of restroom:
1) No interruptions
2) Quiet
3) Clean, preferably because it is not used often
4) Spacious
5) Ambient lighting
6) Plenty of 2-ply toilet paper
7) Reading material *(Possible left over papers or magazines are a plus)
8) Finally the most important thing... it is there when you need it

So here are some of my favorite restrooms and the reasons why.

--Pittsburg University, Kansas, Top floor of Physics Department:
The restroom is quiet and newly renovated. It has it all, doors that lock, coat hangers, and hell, nobody goes to the physics department anyways.

--Pittsburg University, Kansas, Student Welcoming Center:
This restroom is so shiny and new that I wear my sunglasses when using this facility.
It is the restroom that all perspective students families will use, so they keep it really clean to keep attendance up. It can be a bit busy at times, but is normally a nice place to visit.

--Pittsburg University, Kansas, Basement of library:
Here is one of my favorites because of its location and complete lack of intruders. It may not be clean or have good lighting, but the peace and quiet is worth it. Also, a bonus of great bathroom wall graffiti is present here, such as...

"This is a tee pee
for a pee pee.
Not a wig wam
to beat your tom-tom. "

"If you tinkle and you sprinkle, Be a sweetie wipe the seatie."

"Please do not throw cigarette butts in the toilet. It makes them soggy and hard to light."
-----
Now some other places besides my current school.

--University of Kansas:
A quiet but very dark restroom is located in the basement of Bailey Hall. The best thing is that it is near a bus stop when you most need it.

--Also, here at KU, you have to pee in the ground floor men's restroom in Allen Field house, the home of the Kansas Jayhawk basketball team. A large trough so you can't miss is fun when you're camping out for the next game.

--When you gotta go, you gotta go, right? I paid 50 cents to use a small toilet facility on a mountain in Turkey near some Greek ruins. It was a relief to have it there.

--Another place I spend time and work at is the Cottey College Department of Chemistry. As an all girls school, the men's restroom are very quiet and clean. They are so quiet, that when another man does walk in, it startles me.

--Finally, my very favorite restroom of them all...
The Great Outdoors! The last time I used the world as my toilet was a few weeks ago. I was returning from Lawrence, KS to Nevada, MO. I drove by a wildlife reservation in the middle of nowhere. I had to go. So, I pulled onto a dirt road that led me to a small lake filled with migrating ducks and geese. I stood on a levee and did my business while watching the waterfowl, and enjoyed the sounds of nature.

Like George on Seinfeld, I like my restrooms a certain way. I may even seem a bit crazy for even thinking about it, but, hey, it's me.

Since this is such a hot blog topic, I know you want to learn more, so here are some links to other restroom sites:

101 Favorite Restrooms

World Toilet Organization