Orientation Day

I was stood up!!!...by a company...who wants me to work for them...

I recently took a job with an oil company.

Today was Orientation Day!

I was given an address to a building in the middle of some oil fields.

I pulled up to a yellow gate that appeared locked with the address I was given on it. No sign of life. I sat for a minute to contemplate my options. Was the gate actually unlocked? Should I check? Since I once worked for a pig farm, I knew that many times the gates were to be opened and closed with each vehicle, giving the appearance of it being locked and keep in livestock. I got out and checked the gate. It only appeared to be locked.

So, I drove out into the oil field, closing the gate behind me. I came upon a work truck behind a horse shaped oil pump. Here I met a pump mechanic named Bitter Bob. He pointed to a building behind a storage tank were I should go.

I drove up the muddy road and checked it out. It was locked and again...no sign of life. I checked my watch, 8:55...9:00...9:10...damn, no cell reception. I went to talk to Bitter Bob. He told me that nothing here is done on time. I asked him how he liked working for the company and he said, "They are chicken shit!" He went on to tell my how he was looking for better job and the Mexicans were stealing his tools and lazy. Then he told me that he wasn't going to hurry to fix this pump because everyone else was lazy.

I took off to the main office. They told me they forgot me.

To make a long story short, I went to brunch at Subway and returned for orientation.

A witty British man in a Jaguar met me at the site for orientation. He said, "We're going to do this bloody fast because I have already wasted too much of your time." That he did.

Hydrogen Sulfide gas will kill you. The Coast Guard is now responsible for inland oil spills. We took a walk through the fields and he showed me how the process of oil and gas collection worked.

The last thing the trainer told me was, CYA or Cover Your Ass.

wish me luck